WARNING: The post you are about to read was writen under severe sleep deprivation. The author takes no responsibility for his mental state in any way shape or form. Read at your own risk.
All you need is love ... and an adequately sized deoderant bottle.
Roll up, roll up! Come one, come all to join Dr Love for the Triple S Express. The last ride leaves soon!
The name is Love.
Dr Love. Licenced to cause mad giggling where ever I go.
You may scoff, but I've found a new tactic in my battle with Da 'Pines and it's that word, say clear now, L. O. V. E. LOVE.
Fueled on a strict diet of chicken head (which can only be over one hour in front of a large group of locals who think it's the most amusing thing ever), pig snout and eel I have fought back. My battles a beginning to take a turn and I can see myself starting to win, one Philippino at a time, as I leave them laughing their arses off at the Triple S Express (the Inter-Sitio, Sanitary Sex Express).
Ok, maybe that word should be S. M. U. T. SMUT ...
Teamed with the local Midwife and her band of Merry Health Worker's, we have left locals giggling like school girls as we talk about various topics, mine being the Human Reproductive System (as a lead on to the workshop on Family Planning) and Environmental Sanitation. The Triple S Express has done a whirlwind tour all over the local barangay (district), leaving not a dry eye in the house.
Hey, even if it's not your plan, sometimes you need to just go with it.
I have learnt an important lesson too, that I want you all to take with you from my email. Deoderant bottles aren't really the best object to use when you're demonstrating how to put on a condom ... My emails are always as informative as they are entertaining!
Oh well, I got them back, by making some people mime a good assortment of bodily functions. With props. Mu HAHAHA.
The Dr Love nickname will probably catch on in a few days too. I'm sure that Lalaki Lateg (Penis Man) will run its course some time soon. Eventually. Maybe ...
I guess it's better than Saddam (the way the all pronounce Adam rhymes with Saddam) ...
Anyway, I have to say now that my acceptance of other cultures is pretty broad, but I'm going to become the new force of globalisation to stop 4am jeepney rides to Baguio.
Must. Keep. Typing.
Hmm. I wonder what's actually happening in the world. I have absolutely no idea. I don't even have the slightest idea of the important details like who won World Idol.
If anyone emails me the details, they will be dealt with. Swiftly and sharply. I have the resources of a rising young dictator and his band of rebels at my hands.
It's probably better if you don't ask. I'm sorry, Trace, but Kassidy pales in comparrison to this guy.
Anyway, my mind's scattered, and there will be an International Incident if I don't make "Return of the King" today, so I'll finish with some random notes from the past three ... four ... something weeks. I have no concept of time. Well, not that I ever did, but hey, gotta love living in a country where the "Philippino Time" is only a little faster than your own.
Random Notes.
Just because kids can rocket madly down hills, skipping lightly over rocks and roots as they go, doesn't mean you can.
A waterfall is a good method of finally getting yourself completely clean. An hour walk uphill through mud and midday heat from said waterfall is not.
Bidding randomly, when you don't understand the rules of the auction, is probably not the best idea.
Cheese is addictive and withdrawing from it for ... almost 2 months causes major cravings. Mmm, cheese.
Not even kamikaze bats, rapid dogs and an army of screaming babies are enough to some people's minds out of the gutter.
Just because you can climb up a tree, doesn't mean you can climb down.
Not all fireworks work. Damn you shoddy manufacturers!
Mmm, Bocachini ... Sorry, where was I?
Apparently the pingping ti oke and the tongshil are naimas ...
A recent survey has found that 100% of Philippinos agree that "Advance Australian Fair" is really boring.
You can only sing Waltzing Matilda so many times before you begin to wonder if maybe, just maybe, you should have learnt a few more local songs before coming to the land of Videoke.
Have a guess how I reacted when, in the middle of a workshop, Mrs Caoile, a 60 year old lady (and my attempted rapist from a previous post) piped up with "Ad-DAMN, do you like susu? Does daddy like mama's milk?"
All shy grade three teachers hold within themselves the power to bring a community together. The power of ballroom dancing. You may scoff, but one day you will all become believers. Michael Flately got not-ting on my home boy, Edgar V.
Mmm, Cambert and olives ... and ... umm ... the Triple S Express needs to depart for its next mission vital to the world security **coughandtofindmorefireworkscough** Happy new year all. Hope 2004 is going well for you all so far! Seeya!
posted by Ads at 10:24 AM
Just for random information, here's a copy of an email which talks a little bit about what both of the groups of been doing here in the Philippines that was sent in the first few days of the New Year. Enjoy.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!
AVI PHILIPPINES YOUTH PROJECT DEC. 2003
AVI hopes that you all enjoyed a festive season and 2004 is treating you well. Please read below for the latest news on the young Australians in the Philippines undertaking the December 2003 to February 2004 youth program.
Two important updates:
We welcome our third Team Leader, Peter Westoby, to the Philippines Youth Program. He arrived in the Philippines on the 3rd January, spent some time with the Bahay Tuluyan team and then joined the Shontoug team in Baguio.
We also bid a fond farewell to Megan Harvey, one of the Shontoug youth participants, who had to return to Australia just after Christmas. Megan, we’re glad to hear that you are home safely and feeling better!
Bahay Tuluyan Youth Project
Below is information gleaned from reports by Ivan Varughese (youth participant), Catherine Scerri (Team Leader) and Peter Westoby (Team Leader)
So far, positive reports abound from members of the Bahay Tuluyan Team. The team was divided into two groups to stay at each of the Children’s Centres: Kibo and Tiaong. Although travel between the two centres has caused a few headaches in project implementation, the groups are feeling positive and well on their way to achieving their goals. The focus has mainly been on environmental education and the development of livelihood projects that the children can continue with after the young people’s departure.
At the Children’s Centres, both groups have been living and working with the children staying at these centres. In collaboration with the children, the young people have been busy painting murals, making beanbags, baking cakes, setting up recycling facilities, facilitating sewing and cooking classes and sewing/building greenhouses. Some have also been involved in visiting children in prisons and will be writing a report to support a campaign to stop child detention with adults.
The young people participated in the Christmas festivities with the children, with a big party at the Children’s Centre at Kibo. They have also had opportunities for camping and some recreation activities, and are now having a hard earned rest by the beach before commencing the next stage of their work on the island of Bohol. A lot of time has been spent getting to know the children, and friendships have been made with all of the children.
Lastly, Ivan Varughese has provided us with some insights into his fellow Kibo team members and himself:
Holly – enthusiasm for eating the local fried fish (a popular Filippino dish)
Laura – embracing Filippino culture
Nerita – ‘Dedicated Team nurse’
Phoebe – renowned for her “save the world and all things green” motto
Ivan- enthusiasm for tree climbing and Jollibee hotdogs (Jollibee is the Filippino equivalent to MacDonalds)
Shontoug Youth project
Below is a report written by Catherine Loy (youth participant)
The Shontoug team arrived in San Pascual to a warm welcome from the community members at a special church service held to bless the new chapel. It became immediately apparent to all of us that we would find the generosity of the mountain people overwhelming - the food was amazingly abundant, we were seated with the Bishop and pressed with a multitude of dishes!
Later in the day we travelled from Tarong (the village that had welcomed us) to Apni, the village in which we would be living. An empty schoolroom with a concrete floor may not look particularly comfortable at first sight, but the ingenuity of the Apni people knows no bounds - within a day we were furnished with curtains, a workbench, a gas stove, and, most incredible of all, a pergola under which we now do all of our cooking, eating and relaxing.
Our first period in Apni lasted approximately ten days, days which were spent attending community activities (in particular the numerous San Pascual Christmas "programs", at which we were expected to perform along with everyone else), playing with the children, getting to know the various members of the community and doing a homestay, an experience which was eye-opening for all. We left Apni on the 23rd of December to spend Christmas at Sagada.
Leaving Apni turned out to be an adventure in itself! We finally made it to Baguio, in typical Philippino style! One gets used to the way things operate here and the pace of life which goes with the attitude.
Christmas day was spent eating (a lot), playing cricket and, in true Australian backyard cricket style, losing the ball. Everyone had a great day and managed to talk to people at home, which was a real treat!
Upon our return to Apni on the 30th of December we will all begin work on our various projects. At the moment (subject to change) Sian and Bernie will be working with the daycare at Lumes as well as doing some English teaching in the schools of the area. Adam and Nat will be assisting the local healthcare worker, Stu will be spending time with the out of school youth in the region, Anna and Catherine will be researching the social and cultural aspects of the local tribe and their findings will be translated by Lisa. Laura will be making a film with the children of the community and doing some science teaching in the local schools. Mother Therese will be making sure that all goes smoothly, as she has done for the past three and a half weeks!
We're all very excited about beginning work on these projects and anticipate that a great deal of cultural exchange will occur as a result.
We hope that everyone in Australia is enjoying the holiday period and missing us a lot!!
posted by Ads at 10:22 AM
